Suzuki GSX-R Motorcycle Forums Gixxer.com banner

1 - 20 of 68 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
132 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hello again to all my stunt riding jigaboo's!

The Jakester is back and about to blow this scene up harder than Ron Jeremy on viagra! But first, I gotta tell you all what happened to the most notorious stunner in the whole land aka the Jakester...

So I was out hip hopping around on a buddies MV Augusta last month and I was rockin the hottest gear Ive ever rocked, a new pair of customized Lebron's, an Ed Hardy hoody and some nasty sick Rock Revival jeans and of course my signature Oakleys, and I saw these little hoodrats driving out of the mall in Mommy's Jag so I had to be a playboy and hop on my boys MV and go catch up to them. I caught them at a red light, split some traffic to get up to them and lit the rear wheel up like it was christmas, they were cheering and laughing and jockin' the Jakester. I told them to follow a playa into the parking lot right up the street and they did. I gave all but one of them my number to hit a G up for a night out on the town and the best 5 and a half minutes of their life, the 4th one was a plumper and the Jakester just cant do the thickness when it comes with the bakery beats!

After mackin these ho's for a bit, they asked if I knew how to do a wheelie, and you know the Jakester does the illest OG Roll ons! So I had to playa paralyze these bitches for some added coolness. I told these girls watch this as I whipped out into traffic to really impress them, I got it up on one and was accelerating to some huge numbers, when it slowed down to a light so the jakester had to drop the front into a nice stoppie, I call that combo the "ass to mouth" for when im showing it off to the bitty's. As I pulled up to the light, to my surprise next to me is some off duty retarded looking goomba, who flashes a badge at me and tells me to pull off and Im in major trouble he just saw my whole charade. Well you know the Jakester has no problem with the piggies (when they are pulling over other people), so I laughed, threw up my deuces and lane split that ass up front to the light and flipped a u turn so I could do one more fly by for the girls I just macked! Well heres where I made my mistake...

Instead of going straight through the light, the Jakester made the decision to make the uturn and show off one more time, well...As Im going past the parking lot looking at the girls as Im up one on, I pulled out my new iPhizzle and put it up to my ear motioning for them to call a jiggalo, I wanted to turn off into the street up ahead, but there must have been a huge wind that hit the Jakester up on one and sent me sideways into the curb up towards the light. Me and the bike flew over the curb and right into some crackers back yard via their fence. The MV looked to be totalled, no one was home, so I pushed the bike up to the front, then all of a sudden the popo comes rolling in lights glaring and sirens blasting, arresting a street baller like I did something wrong...WTF.

They took my license on site, I had to call my sister to get into touch with pops to come bail his son out of Jail. He says that it wasnt my fault according to my recollection of what happened, and he thinks it should be a shut and close case in court to get my license back and have all charges dropped, and possibly even get the cops to reimburse me for my broken iPhizzle and pay the homeowner for his fence, since it was there fault I ran in the first place. I got a court date coming up in 2 weeks, so we will see.

But dont worry that shit hasnt kept the Jakester from cruising the dirty dirty, I still gets out and does what I can, a little bruised and a little sore still, but that wont stop the Jakester from continuing my DVD "Jake Stuns the World". We are going to try and subpeona the cop and see if he has the video of this going down from his car, so I can add it to my upcoming release!

But dont worry about the Jakester, I already banged 2 out of the 3 girls I got the numbers from, they loved my gangsta ways in bed. Told me I was like a disease they just cant get rid of! Im pretty sure it was because diseases kill people, and I was killin those asses! WOOT!

Ima need a day off, I think Ill call Paris up,
Jake
 

·
gixxersixxerman
Joined
·
1,023 Posts
fuck yeah.. my fuckin hero pimpin'
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,617 Posts
Please post up your vidz - I sure hope your bro caught this on video!!

Keep us posted on the progress of the DVD. Might have to end the video on a BMX... but that's okay... you can still pull hunnies on the huffy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
132 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
So is this guy seriously the ultimate troll? 123 posts and almost a decade later and no ban? Something fishy about this one.
The only thing fishy here is your girls snatch! Was she the 4th girl aka the plumper who I didnt give my number too? Is that why your mad? Dont worry homie, not everyone can be as cool as the Jakester!

Fat girls need love to Craig,
Jake
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
132 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
Please post up your vidz - I sure hope your bro caught this on video!!

Keep us posted on the progress of the DVD. Might have to end the video on a BMX... but that's okay... you can still pull hunnies on the huffy.
It will be up for sale very soon, $69.95 plus S&H for the DVD and $99.95 plus S&H for the Blu Ray! The best stunt video to ever grace mankind: "Jake Stuns The World".

Dont bootleg my shit!,
Jake
 

·
Rectally Assaulted on a Regular Basis
Joined
·
1,147 Posts
That has got to be the dumbest played out bullshit story i've ever read. First of all if you had to hop on your "buddies" MV you sure as hell aren't "Gangsta". Second of all no one gives a shit what you were wearing. And the only reason those"bittys" say you're like a desease they can't get rid of is because you scared them into giving you their numbers and won't quit stalking them. I seriously hope that you were creating this cocaine indused delusion for fun and possibly a laugh because clearly this story is full of shit! Oh and lastly if you could pull off half of the shit you say you'd be a moron not to wear actual gear!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
132 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
That has got to be the dumbest played out bullshit story i've ever read. First of all if you had to hop on your "buddies" MV you sure as hell aren't "Gangsta". Second of all no one gives a shit what you were wearing. And the only reason those"bittys" say you're like a desease they can't get rid of is because you scared them into giving you their numbers and won't quit stalking them. I seriously hope that you were creating this cocaine indused delusion for fun and possibly a laugh because clearly this story is full of shit! Oh and lastly if you could pull off half of the shit you say you'd be a moron not to wear actual gear!
The only thing full of shit is your dick after fucking your boyfriend in the ass. I smell jealousy in the voice of this Chach! You only wish you could rock the streets like Jake-O-Rama does! And when your as good as the Jakester you dont need gear, without gear the honey's can truly see how incredibly sexy the Jakester is. Dont be mad you gotta wear a helmet to get girls!

Im too sexy for this thread,
Jake
 

·
Rectally Assaulted on a Regular Basis
Joined
·
1,147 Posts
wow thanks for clearing that up you clearly are a fucking moron! If you have so much style and know your shit what am I doing in my avatar! Also I don't need anything to get any girl cuz i'm married to a women, and i sure as hell didn't need a bike or bullshit poser cloths to get her!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
132 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
wow thanks for clearing that up you clearly are a fucking moron! If you have so much style and know your shit what am I doing in my avatar! Also I don't need anything to get any girl cuz i'm married to a women, and i sure as hell didn't need a bike or bullshit poser cloths to get her!
Your welcome!

I cant believe you lasted this long. :dunno
Where on fucken earth do you guys come from? :shifty
America.
 

·
Not the powers that be, not even close.
Joined
·
23,080 Posts
:cheers to Stunnerific_Jake

There's a lot of people jealous of you who don't recognize your talent.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,232 Posts
The only thing fishy here is your girls snatch! Was she the 4th girl aka the plumper who I didnt give my number too? Is that why your mad? Dont worry homie, not everyone can be as cool as the Jakester!

Fat girls need love to Craig,
Jake
How about you leave her out of this internet tough guy?
 
1 - 20 of 68 Posts
About this Discussion
67 Replies
28 Participants
mattphs43
Suzuki GSX-R Motorcycle Forums Gixxer.com
A forum community dedicated to the Suzuki GSX-R motorcycle. Discuss the GSX-R600, GSX-R750, GSX-R1000, and GSX-R1100, and more!
Full Forum Listing
Top