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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not all...

Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight window and your timing window with a whitish pro emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and die.

Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will lubricate your timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots the night before you walk across your new carpeting.

While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good measure.

Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two sizes the night before a track day. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it to the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail.

Synthetic oil is undoubtedly a tool of Satan. DON'T use synthetic oil.
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

LMFAO


".....synthetic oil will leave the toilet seat up, and make you stare at your neighbours wife's ass, while your wife is looking......"



[ 12-09-2002, 07:21 PM: Message edited by: kennyb ]
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

Originally posted by Brolo:
Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not all...

Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight window and your timing window with a whitish pro emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and die.

Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will lubricate your timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots the night before you walk across your new carpeting.

While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good measure.

Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two sizes the night before a track day. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it to the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail.

Synthetic oil is undoubtedly a tool of Satan. DON'T use synthetic oil.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wait...I don't have a dog! Will my cat drink it and die too?
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground!

Ha, it's not that I get off of the right side and forget the stand


STUPID OIL!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

This guy's not kidding. Synthetic oil dated my girlfriend behind my back and then had an affair with her mother! It got my email password and sent everyone I know a heartfelt "coming out of the closet" letter. Then, when I was really down and out, it spiked my coffee with cocaine and suggested to my boss that it may be time for another round of "random" drug tests. Damn that synthetic oil!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

It's also been known to slip things into girls' drinks and has been repeatedly accused of date rape.
Synthetic Oil
Me
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

Originally posted by kennyb:
LMFAO


".....synthetic oil will leave the toilet seat up, and make you stare at your neighbours wife's ass, while your wife is looking......"

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thats funny
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

True, but how do you keep it circulating? Doesn't it all just pour out of your tailpipe?
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

Lubricate? You mean i have to maintain my motorcycle! Oh shit, i thought that smoke was part of the show!!!

*Sets aim away message: Calling suzuki dealership*
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

Originally posted by Brolo:
True, but how do you keep it circulating? Doesn't it all just pour out of your tailpipe?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, that is why I put a hose over part of the exit on my pipe and it does a 180 and the oil goes back into the oil filler hole. Recycle baby!
 

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Re: DON\'T Use Synthetic Oil!

Originally posted by kennyb:
LMFAO


".....synthetic oil will leave the toilet seat up, and make you stare at your neighbours wife's ass, while your wife is looking......"

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
gonna try that excuse with my g/f next time ..but honey the synthetic oil made me do it....
 
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