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meep meep
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16,491 Posts
5. Texas: Oh, you Austinites. So goddamn pleased with yourselves. Ooh, loogit us! We have indie movies and indie music and indie food carts and indie pencils! You know what? I don't like indie things. I don't like Animal Collective. I saw Half Nelson, and it was a piece of shit. I like movies and songs that look and sound like they cost more than four dollars to make. And if they come hipster-free, then all the better. You people are the fucking Williamsburg of Texas, and that isn't a compliment. Though I do like that Sam Acho. It's like his last name is a suffix for all good Latino things: macho, nacho, muchacho, Comacho, borracho… Great name. But you are still ASS.

:shifty
 

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Stabby Steve Longshanks
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11,520 Posts
3. Boise State: America's Sweethearts, my ass. I'll be damned if I'm cheering from some dipshit team from the middle of Idaho. Let me ask you something: If everyone in Idaho died tomorrow, would you care? I mean, just DIED. A virus sweeps across the state and wipes out every last man, woman, and baby. Every Idahoan, dead in a puddle of their own shit and liquefied organs. Would you really give a crap? I say no.


:lmao
 

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Tambouriner
Joined
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6,000 Posts
:spit :lmao I'm dying here. Plus, they nailed this:

2. Ohio State: You have an awesome team and everyone wishes they were you.

I've been to Columbus. It's the kind of place no one would ever live voluntarily. You either live there because you can't afford to live anywhere else, or because the judge put a travel restriction on your DUI probation. Tear the roof off a fucking Houlihan's, expand the size of it to 50 square miles, and that's Columbus. Just one big generic pile of shit. They should have just named it "City."
 

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Fragile Little Flower of Texan Femininity
Joined
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98,059 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
ahh but you forgot to post:
Oh, sweet fucking Jesus, you people again? Haven't you people pissed away enough titles? Shouldn't you be banished to NAIA so that we don't have to see you lose the national title by 47 points to an SEC team? It's because of YOU that people from the South are actually starting to feel good about themselves again. That is crap.
 
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