DAMN http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif Before I get started, I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me because I put myself in my own situation and I am man enough to accept the mistakes I have made.

Inspirational Speech (http://www.stanford.edu/dept/news/report_stage/news/2005/june15/videos/53.html)

After 6 years of undergraduate studies at UCLA and getting kicked out 2 times, I finally graduated in June 2005 with a bullshit major that taught me nothing and will get me nowhere (Asian American Studies). Please don't congratulate me because I didn't accomplish much, other than wasting my parents' money and getting my gixxer stolen on campus.

After working various partime jobs for the last 8 years, I am now unemployed. My last job lasted for 4 years. I was working at a department at my school, but the employment cancelled since I graduated. They kept me throughout the summer though because I was close with my co-workers and boss, but they couldn't keep paying me out of their own pockets (government pays for most of the paycheck if you're workstudy).

After living with my girlfriend for almost 2 years, we broke up last month and she has moved out. Kind of depressing because we had a dog together as well, and now I go to sleep and wake up alone. I was the one that basically broke it off because she never really made me happy and she was selfish as hell. If anyone questions her level of selfishness, let me know, and I will go into details later. However, I dunno if it's still attachment or what, but I miss her so damn much and I think about her a lot throughout the day. I tried to start talking to her again, but she doesn't seem to want to try to make things work out again. Kind of a good thing for me because I'm at the exact halfway point of thinking whether its better I'm not with her or what if I can't do better than her. I hate her so much, but I love her so much. http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

After much pestering from my parents and much guilt on myself (was sitting on my ass for 2 weeks straight), I have since taken a half-assed attempt to find a job. I don't even think it's right to call it half-assed, because I didn't even put in that much effort. I looked up jobs through monstertrak.com in between surfing through GDC. I found a Personal Banking position at Bank of America and made a shitty resume and cover letter in a few minutes. Sent it through e-mail and they called me in a couple times for a personality assessment test (which I passed) and for a personal interview. They are currently in the process of background checks now, and training starts in about a month. Problem is, I don't want to work in this industry. I know it's a job I will hate, and I can't fathom the thought of sitting behind a desk for 40+ hours a week and kissing ass to people who make 10 times more than I do. But don't get me wrong......I need a job. I want to do something I love doing in the future (which I don't have any clue what that is yet), but for now I need something to pay the bills.

Money............. It's a problem for everyone. Call me a lil bitch now because I am 23 and I still get allowance from my mom. Keep in mind though that I am in the process of getting a self-sufficient full-time job, and that I truly want to stop TAKING money from my mom as soon as possible and start GIVING it to her. Also keep in mind that I have been working part-time jobs since I was 15, and the allowance was just supplemental for my lifestyle/college expenses. Also, my mom owns a restaurant and I help her out there a few times a week, so it's kind of like pay/allowance.

Money started becoming problematic once I stopped working at my last job. My allowance is still the same, but so are my bills and my lifestyle habits. It was fine when I was getting paychecks from work, but now, times are starting to get tough. I don't really like going out, but I feel obligated to for close friends' birthdays and special occasions. I don't really eat out or cook, so it's mostly fast food for me whether I have a lot of money at the time or not. I'm not really stingy, its just that I'm not much of a food person, so it seems like a waste of money to spend a lot on food. My ex on the other hand, couldn't eat anything less than 10 dollars, so for that I'm happy.

Lifestyle........ I'm not really an addict, but I have fun doing things that really shouldn't be done. I enjoy playing Texas Hold 'em, but it hasn't become a problem until recently. I got into poker WAY before it became a HUGE fad, but I'm not afraid to admit that I too jumped on the bandwagon a few years ago. A few of my close friends lost between 25-40,000 (in credit card cash advances) and I would never let myself get to that point (unless I have that kind of money to just throw around in the future). I was never really a big gambler, so my trips usually end up with myself losing or winning 100-500 at the most at the frequency of twice a month. I know when to get up, win or lose. However, throughout a combination of boredom, stress, and trying to not think about my breakup, I've been goin to the casinos a lot more frequently over the past month. It doesn't help that my closest friends are gambleholics, along with having 5 casinos within a 20 min drive, 3 indian casinos within an hour and a half drive, and vegas being 3 hours away. This pretty much equated to being in a casino at least 30 hours a week. Back to the money, however, I had a bad losing streak.

Without my paychecks to cover my losses, along with rarely winning any hands, I started to lose my survival money. I wasn't losing a lot more than I used to in the past, I just didn't have the money to win it back and/or survive throughout the rest of the week. This ended up in my friends spotting me (letting me borrow money), and that shit started to add up too. I ended up coming back to the point of paying everyone back a few times, but I was in the mentality of trying to live off of poker winnings for a while which didn't turn out to be a good idea. At this point today, I am a month late on two credit card payments, I owe my friends about 300 dollars, and I have 20 dollars (from my savings account) to live off for the next two weeks. My mom's going to give me 300 on saturday (allowance) which I plan to use to pay everyone back. Also, when I work at my mom's restaurant, I can eat for free and bring stuff back home, so I guess that helps. I know I should stop gambling given my financial situation at this point, and thats what I plan to do.

Back to stuff I shouldn't be doing.......getting high. Again, due to boredom, stress, and trying to forget about my ex, I started smoking weed again on a daily basis. While I was going out with my ex, I got myself to a point of smoking only on certain special occasions (4/20), but I have gone back to Mary Jane since the break-up. Not really a money problem, because one of my closest friends is a big dealer. I get free smokeouts, but I am seriously losing my drive and energy. I enjoy chilling with friends, but not at the expense of being seriously unproductive the whole day. And I'm getting too old for this shit.

Sorry for this long and emotional post. It's pretty much my current life in a nutshell. Thanks to everyone for reading this post, and I appreciate any feedback...negative or positive. I'm sure there are many people in this world that are suffering in ways that I can't even imagine. However, in my own personal life, this is the lowest point I have ever reached. I hope you guys watched the vid at the beginning because he really spoke to me. I know in my heart that I will become very successful in starting my own company, and that this will be one of the stories I tell people about when they ask me how I made it.

It seems like you know what you need to do, that is a good start. You may want to think about working 20-30 hour a week and posibly going back to school part time for something more ueful. I know that school sucks, but it is also your ticket to a good life and job security.

well bro im 19 and basically hit rock bottom a month or so ago, i dropped out of school and all that shit, but am now going back. Just keep your head up and try to change, thats what im trying to do.

You got a degree in something, that will get you ina door somewhere. A company I was at broguht in an entry level engineer over somebody else because they had a 4 year degree in political science.

Just wanted to add that throughout a combination of pride and guilt, I have a rule against asking my mom for more money than she already gives me. I feel really bad for taking it as it is, that I can't just ask for more.

On another side note......I had no gas or money, and she wanted me to come in to work the other day. I scrounged up all the coins from the desk, couch and car and came up with $3.23. After debating putting in gas or taking the bus, I decided to go with the gas because I didn't want my mom asking where my car was. With southern california gas prices, I came up with a little over a gallon. Got me there and back, but just barely.

Another side note.....I'm really lost as to direction as to where my close friends are concerned. Basically they are split into 4 different groups. The first group is the guys I grew up with in my neighborhood. They still chill, smokeout and drink all day long, and some of them are like 25. A couple are going to technical schools now, but the rest of them go to community colleges (but not really) or are college drop-outs with part-time jobs.....all living with their parents. The rest are my school and college friends who all fall somewhere in the next three categories. One of them is the grad school people. They know what they want to do, have taken their grad school exams and have applied/attended to the schools of their choice. Some of them are interning or working in their fields, but they are still going to grad school. The next are the undergrad graduates who aren't going to grad school, but know what they want to do and have interned in their fields for years and already had jobs lined up after graduation. They knew what they wanted to do and enjoy doing it. The last group is the category I used to be in. These guys just chill, smokeout and drink, and have gotten kicked out of college, but are back in and taking a couple more years to graduate. I chill with these guys the most, but I feel like I already took a step ahead of them and I am lost. At least they have a purpose now to get up in the morning and go to school, but I just feel like I'm in a haze. I can't identify my point in life with anyone close to me.

Well, you and I are alike in many ways. I'm 23 and graduated Texas A&M University in December 2004, with a BS in Economics. I applied to many banks (where I wanted to work) and only got 1 call back from a small local bank. They wanted me to work as a part-time teller making roughly $8/hr. I told them no thanks. I made more than that working in college. I can honestly say that I have never tried ANY drug, and I never intend to. I did do a lot of drinking in college...well...still do, but I have my priorities straight. I intend on going to graduate school in a couple of years, but knew I needed work experience to get into a good school.

I ended up taking a shitty job selling yellow pages. It seemed like the best offer on the table with the best future. WRONG! http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif Does the job suck? I'd much rather slam my dick in the door that go to that hell hole, but it pays me. My paychecks for 2 weeks of work are about what my dad makes a day. I tried living with a person from work, but that quickly ended when I was out of money and couldn't afford to pay rent. My bills each month are about $350, and that's what I bring home every couple of weeks. I'm getting to the point of hating my life. I put in a lot of time and effort to get my degree, and it isn't even starting to pay off. I've moved back in with my dad and he and I talk every night about my career options. He told me he'd pay for me to go to grad school, but I'm missing the work experience that many good MBA programs want.

I got a call yesterday from the freight company EGL Eagle Global Logistics. They have a leadership development program for recent college graduates and they want me to come in for an interview. This is a program I've wanted to get into since I've heard about it, and I finally have my shot. I paid my dues with a shitty job, and now my degree and experience are starting to pay off.

The point of all of my babble is that you have to pay your dues to get to where you want to be. Life sucks and it sometimes kicks you in the balls. You have to man up and keep your goals in front of you. Surround yourself with people that are successful and those who are working to achieve their goals. Even though they've been your buddies for a while, dump the dopers and find new friends. I had to cut ties with friends from back home, and it has helped me out in the long run. You may not want the job at Bank of America, but it's a starting job with a paycheck. Stick it out for a year, and you'll be suprised about how much you will learn and be able to use in other fields. http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

Yeah, the post-college life can be a bitch. I was living with a girlfriend and when that went to shit, I moved back home and was getting ready to go back to school. I was interning with the local PD doing computer work, but the demands of the job and the expecation of going into the academy made me cancel my classes at the university before I lost my tuition for the semester. I wound up not going into the academy and my internship was going to be terminated as the city wound up in a budget crisis.

I worked full time doing electrical work for a while, but quit that after a layoff period and went back to school.

I finally finished the degree I started, now I'm looking for a real job still. I've sent the ol resume out all over hell with monster and career builder, but haven't even got a call back.

It's a bitch, but keep working at it, you'll get there.

Go enlist in the Marines for a couple of years. Then once you are out I imagine you will have some motivation and even then some left over motivation to get your shit in order. Later,

If you don't have a job you have no business smoking weed. Period.

You have a few important things in your favor.

1. You have caring family for support
2. You do have an education
3. You know where you stand, and what your mistakes were/are.

You just need to figure where to go. Try making a list of all the things you love to do. Then make a sublist of all the possible jobs that might be associated with that. Then see if there's any position that might be had that uses at least some segment of your education. All you need is a foot in the door for an idustry you like. Then you can move through based on performance and not your major.

Good luck http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

If you don't have a job you have no business smoking weed. Period.


Lets not forget that almost all companies require you to pass a drug test, and do random testing. http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/graemlins/nono.gif

Go enlist in the Marines for a couple of years. Then once you are out I imagine you will have some motivation and even then some left over motivation to get your shit in order. Later,



I think the Marines are the shit and that if I WERE to join the military, that's where I would enlist. My own older brother is a Lance Corporal in the Marines and a handful of my friends are currently on duty in the Marines.

However, there are a couple reasons that I wouldn't join the Marines. First of all, through 10 years of cigarettes and weed, I don't think that I would last through boot camp, or I would die trying (not to mention the drug testing). Secondly, I've noticed that people "change" after they get back from boot camp. They tell me that it's "confidence," but it seems to me that its more like "brainwashing." It's really hard to explain what I mean in words, but I saw the transformation in my own brother first. Growing up with him, I knew him pretty well, but after he joined the Marines, he seemed more distant. Then when my friends enlisted afterwards, I saw the same weird change in them as well.

If you don't have a job you have no business smoking weed. Period.



Like I said.....I'm in the recruitment process already for a full-time job, and I don't pay a dime to smoke out. Other than wasting time and brain cells, I don't see what weed has to do with my job. I also have many detox methods, and i DO plan to quit before I start working.

you have a degreee in asian-american studies? come on now. theres got to be a market you can tap into. become a consultant for American Racing or suzuki america or something, just start looking and be confident. theres a ton of dumbasses out there with well-paying jobs, you seem like a halfway smart guy, just get out there and apply. if you dont have that 'can-do' attitude you wont get hired anywhere.

you have a degreee in asian-american studies? come on now. theres got to be a market you can tap into. become a consultant for American Racing or suzuki america or something, just start looking and be confident. theres a ton of dumbasses out there with well-paying jobs, you seem like a halfway smart guy, just get out there and apply. if you dont have that 'can-do' attitude you wont get hired anywhere.



Yeah, I'd think there's definitely some marketing positions out there for people with a degree like that.

If you don't have a job you have no business smoking weed. Period.



Like I said.....I'm in the recruitment process already for a full-time job, and I don't pay a dime to smoke out. Other than wasting time and brain cells, I don't see what weed has to do with my job. I also have many detox methods, and i DO plan to quit before I start working.



Your life sounds alot like mine. Hell, i even work for Bank of America. I smoke just about everyday too, except i have to pay for it. I kinda feel at times im selling myself short, but then again im 22, and most of teh people i work with are in their 30's and im quickly moving up in the company, and have already been promoted above all the people i started working with. Hopefully ill start making some real money soon. But i make more than enough now to get by, and ahve a little fun.

As far as your girlfriend goes, it's been a few years since ive had a serious break up, but they are ruff. I think the hardest part about it is coping with the change of not having someone around all the time. But the best thing to remember about this is, life goes on.

I almost think a 4 yr degree is almost a waste unless you for for something specialized, a busness degree hasnt helped me at all. Someday maybe ill go back to school and work on an MBA. I've gotten too comfortable working a job that pisses me off almsot daily, but pays alright. The reason i dont like my job at time is probably just boils down to the fact that i hate responsibility, and while im workign im thinking about a million things id rather be doing.

But im sure you will make out alright. I think i stole this expression a long time ago from someone on this bored but its a good one. "relax, you'll live longer" whenever i think about that i calm down.

Good luck with whatever happen

Later

You got a degree in something, that will get you ina door somewhere. A company I was at broguht in an entry level engineer over somebody else because they had a 4 year degree in political science.



http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/graemlins/hip.gif He's dead on for that one. All of my aviation instructors have told me that most jobs dont give a rats ass about what kind of degree you have, as long as its a 4 year degree. But it never hurts to have a degree in something relevant to what you want to do.

It can be hard but can be much better. For me, life was/is easier. Not more BS tests, reading stupid crap which you will never use etc etc.

I went full time for (1) degree and part time for another. So far I learned some stuff but OTJT tought me more then any professor could. Even when I was in class (and working) I asked the teachers why are we doing this since I have never just this on my engineering job in 10+ years. No comment.

Since my dad was a cop I went through all the state police application process in CT and MA. Then I said, "What am I nuts. I will be making less money". That stopped.

i work with people with PHD that make crap I feel (65K) and contractors (with no degrees) making $120 PER HOUR! So in the end, all these businesses want degrees but they do not mean jack, per say.

I will not continue on for other degrees since it is not worth it. I only added 11K to my salary this year for my degree. Not worth the time to go on and not spend time with my wife and son.

As noted above, monster.com is pretty good. I put my resume out there and get about 2 to 3 offers a day. But the clowns sending the stuff to NOT read where I want to move. I am not moving in the middle of nowhere.

Degrees are over rated these days. Its good to have but wont advance your pay unless your job is the one sending you to school. Before I graduated college I made well over 25 an hr. After I graduated I couldnt find a decent job that pays 1/2 of what I use to make. Took me 2 years to find a decent paying job then I quit cause the drive sucked.

In my experience I found that blue color work is often looked down at but they make a shit load of money more then people with degrees. If you have a brain do some blue color stuff and you'll advance quickly.

Technical school graduates tend to make more money then university graduates. Sad that all that education is worthless in the real world.

Degrees are over rated these days. Its good to have but wont advance your pay unless your job is the one sending you to school. Before I graduated college I made well over 25 an hr. After I graduated I couldnt find a decent job that pays 1/2 of what I use to make. Took me 2 years to find a decent paying job then I quit cause the drive sucked.

In my experience I found that blue color work is often looked down at but they make a shit load of money more then people with degrees. If you have a brain do some blue color stuff and you'll advance quickly.

Technical school graduates tend to make more money then university graduates. Sad that all that education is worthless in the real world.



BINGO! My neighbor has 2 masters and gets like $12 houe. Pretty sad. Most tech degrees are what business want since it gets "the shit out the door"... The problem is if they do not want you, and you do not have one, that is there reason. Then when you have one, they do not want to pay you for it.

I look back and say I worked all the time for about XX more per year...Thanks but my school is done.

I also agree I have gotten offers for about 2X my pay but I refuse to drive 1 to 1.5 hours per day (one way)..

My wife took a 15K pay cut to work closer to home. She was 1.15 hours; now 13 minutes! http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif