OK girls, I am first going to apologize for writing in your forum. I have no place else to turn and feel comfortable sharing some of this because none of you no me.

Here is the deal. The wife and I are having some problems. In my opinion they are huge and I do not know what she thinks. Basically we have not spoken to each other for over a week. I do not know why and I have made several attempts to start conversations with her but she answers with one word or nothing at all. She even questioned why I was asking her questions last week and I reponded with "I am just trying to have a conversation with you" and that was the end of the conversation! We have stuggled with communication for as long as we have been married. We have been married for 4 years and have known each other for nearly 18 years.

Next forget about action. She has shown no interest at all. This has always been a point of contention. She says that I should have known what I was getting involved with. But that was not always the case. When I was in the Navy we had a long distance relationship kind of. When I saw her there was always action. Forget it these days. Back then she was also on medication that suppressed her sex drive but now she has no excuse. She even gets mad when I bring up her lack of libido. She has the sex drive of a fly that has been swatted and stepped on!!!!!

Another point of contention: She has no hobbies or interests. I like to ride the bike, play golf etc. Me going to do any of them is always an issue. I have asked her many times to give it a go and she always says NO. I asked her recently what she would like to do to blow off steam and got no response. Or she says that she has no time. She spends the mojority of her time when she gets home from work sitting on the couch watching TV. I hate TV and watch only sports. I ask her everyday if she would like to go to the gym with the same response, not interested. I have not even ridden my bike that much this year!!!

I keep myself in good shape, I may not be the best looking dude (but never had problem with meeting girls)(will furnish pics if requested), I am interested in many things and would consider myself a pretty good catch. I always feel like I am doing something wrong although I do nothing. I should not have this dilemna and do not deserve to feel this way.

She is beautiful and I do love her. But I am at my wits end here. I refuse to live a miserable life. I am still young and have a big chunk of my life to live and just do not know what to do. I have asked to go to counseling, I am trying, but just do not know what else there is that I can do?

Any help or suggestions would be helpful. Thanks all!

I think you should just be upfront & tell her that the current situation isn't working for you & you want to know what's going on. Just be honest . . . and if she blows you off again, tell her how unhappy you are & suggest counselling . . . and if she's still blowing you off, acting like you don't matter . . . well, its possible she really does feel that way unfortunately :(

Have any kids together?

If no, send her packing. Life is too short to live with a miserable person who drains the life out of you and offers you absolutely nothing but headache and grief.

I think you should just be upfront & tell her that the current situation isn't working for you & you want to know what's going on. Just be honest . . . and if she blows you off again, tell her how unhappy you are & suggest counselling . . . and if she's still blowing you off, acting like you don't matter . . . well, its possible she really does feel that way unfortunately :(

I agree with the Punkadilly:punk

You need to take some kind of action. NO ONE should have to be miserable in a relationship (even if it involves kids).

I agree with the Punkadilly:punk

You need to take some kind of action. NO ONE should have to be miserable in a relationship (even if it involves kids).

+1

I'd go straight and invite her off for a dinner, and then ask her if she is ok, if there's something that worries her, remind her that you are by her side. Ask her if she is not fine in the relationship, if she still loves tou. Maybe you don't like the answer, but the truth is always better than the uncertain..be strong. And if shee keeps on runing away just tell her you can not stand this situation, either she acts or the relationship qill be over.. For they say distance is a matter of kilometers and time, yet the worse, is the distance of Silence, how long will yours last?
Best wishes..:)

"For they say distance is a matter of kilometers and time, yet the worse, is the distance of Silence, how long will yours last?"

Such an eloquent saying, I like it :)

wow, she is full of hostility. does she struggle w/ depression at all? either way, you should give her dr. laura's book "the proper care and feeding of husbands" and ask her to read it. do you have kids? also, does she act this angry to other people, or are you the only 'lucky one'?

Sounds like she is depressed and down on herself, stubborn and defensive, putting up a front expressed as anger so that she doesn't appear weak.
Confronting her about her sex drive is only going to make the situation worse. She's probably insecure about something.

Counseling sounds like a good idea.

Ultimately, your happiness is what should matter most to you. Eventually there comes a point when you've got to put yourself first.

52759

dont forget to look at yourself first. some cant forgive and others never forget. make sure you have been good to your loved one and be honest. give and take is easier preached that executed. if you can put yourself in check and feel positive that your wrong doings are not deserving of what you live thru every day then grab your cajones and go forth into your "revised " future. everyone is right,you only have one life and zero gaurantees. "everyone dies, some never live..."