Hey Girls,
Since Av crashed my bike I have huge fear of getting back on one. (even on the back) The thought of him going under a semi replays in my head all the time. I think it annoys him but the thought of loosing him makes me sick. He is such a safe rider. Do you guys think its normal to feel like this? What do you think i should do to get over the fear?
Thanks :confused

yes, it is always normal to fear that the person you love (who is riding a motorcycle) will get in some sort of accident where they lose there life. But, if you live your life that way and don't try to focus elsewhere then life will be very stressful.

yes, it is always normal to fear that the person you love (who is riding a motorcycle) will get in some sort of accident where they lose there life. But, if you live your life that way and don't try to focus elsewhere then life will be very stressful.


I agree....you can't live by the what if's.

What if that little girl didn't wear such a big glasses. :biggrin



Sorry, I just had to do it.

What if that little girl didn't wear such a big glasses. :biggrin



Sorry, I just had to do it.


That is my niece in Texas.....I love that pic.

The only way you can beat your fear is to face it. Don't push it too hard just take little steps. Of course its normal but if you live in fear then you wont enjoy anything ever.

I totally understand what you are going thru...my boyfriend was in a bad accident where a dodge ram truck pulled out right in front of him and he hit the back end of the truck....he suffered a broken femur and a separated shoulder. It was very nerve racking, but we both got thru it...it took him 2 years to get another bike, but I was right there with him when went to get it! We both love to ride, and before I got my bike I was always on the back w/him! If I didn't go with him I would always give him a hug and kiss and say be careful, but we all know that us as riders can be very safe and responsible but there will still be idiots in cars that don't know how to respect a rider! We both have bikes now and I'm almost always out riding with the crew, but I still get nervous... I guess I looked at it as everything happens for a reason, we might not know why but it just happens... You'll get over it, it will just take a little time to feel comfortable again! Good luck! :cheers

Your fear is normal. I wrecked my bike last year at the end of riding season. Hit a guardrail but had minor injuries. I was very hesistant to buy a new bike but I did this past spring. I just cruised easy after I bought it as I still was replaying the accident in my head. I'm much better now. I ride like I did last year but still have the fear creep back in once in a while. Fear is good. You should ride with a little fear. Keeps you alert. The motorcycle book, Total Control, discusses fear. Great book by the way with awesome information and exercises to make you a better rider.

Anyway, take your time, ride in areas of little traffic, get used to riding again and have fun...Oh, and wear your gear. It saved my ass from major injury:cheers

Your fear is very normal! I watched my husband wreck this past June! We were out riding curves at 90+ amd someone cut him off in the apex of a curve! I was on my bike just behind him, and I watched as he and his bike did about 6-7 flips! It was the most horrible thing I have very been through or imagined! Thankfully he was ok, cause he had on full gear. But it could have been so much worse! As for me I was never scared to get back on the bike, as a matter of fact the day he went down I got right back on my bike and rode the hour and a half home! Tim has been riding 13+ years and this was the first time he has ever been down, and I know the boy can ride!! But even now I am scared for him to ride! It will just take you some time to get through it, but you will! Remember this is a very dangerous sport we love, but it is wonderful to be on the bike and that makes it worth the risk!

Thanks for all the help Girls!

Fear is a good thing, it keeps us alive. But the way I look at it, when it's your time to go it's your time to go and you're not going to live 1 minute longer.

So live your life, be safe, be responsible because what's going to happen is going to happen.

I have been in and seen several tragic bike accidents. Some people choose to get back on and ride and others want nothing to do with a bike anymore. After my wreck last year where I almost lost my left arm I was a little hesitant at first. It took me about a month to get back on the bike and I did fine here in FL. When I went back to TN and was riding up there with the blind hills and stuff I would have flashbacks of the wreck. I have also been riding with a group where a friend died and that took me a while to get over. But sorry to say it is all part of the sport. It is dangerous out there. And you can be the world's safest rider and have someone pull out in front of you. It is a personal decision that you have to make for yourself. Good luck to you.
Char

I just worry so much about him, He's the best thing I've ever had in my life and I can not imagine life with out him. I've had so much loss in my life and I'm not sure if I can take loosing my best friend again (my other Best friend was killed when I was 13) I know he loves the sport but I truely need him. I will never stop him from doing what he wants but he can't tell me that nothing is going to happen.

Hey Girls,
Since Av crashed my bike I have huge fear of getting back on one. (even on the back) The thought of him going under a semi replays in my head all the time. I think it annoys him but the thought of loosing him makes me sick. He is such a safe rider. Do you guys think its normal to feel like this? What do you think i should do to get over the fear?
Thanks :confused


Its pretty normal. I lost my husband ...he was killed on my bike, when a chic ran a stop sign..I rode after hating bikes for a little while..
I was always worried about that.

Then I had an accident! I shouldn't be alive right now it was so bad! But, I lived ...When the group of doctors stood around me saying we don't see this happen to often. It must of not been your time to go.

AHH...I thought ..right or wrong...When it's your time...It's your time....

We can't live everyday in fear...then were not living....avoiding bikes to make sure you are fine only to get in an accident in a car...

Its pretty normal. I lost my husband ...he was killed on my bike, when a chic ran a stop sign..I rode after hating bikes for a little while..
I was always worried about that.

Then I had an accident! I shouldn't be alive right now it was so bad! But, I lived ...When the group of doctors stood around me saying we don't see this happen to often. It must of not been your time to go.

AHH...I thought ..right or wrong...When it's your time...It's your time....

We can't live everyday in fear...then were not living....avoiding bikes to make sure you are fine only to get in an accident in a car...

what all happened??

Sorry for jumping in on the ladies forum but I thought I should chime in here. Basically, when I die, I think the best way for me to go out would be doing something I love doing. Riding bikes, shooting guns, racing cars, having sex (Ewwwww, I know), etc. You get the idea.

Face it. He's going to die some day anyhow, why not go out in style? To live life "safe" and peaceful is boring at best and emasculative at worst.

I remember the 12 year span of time when I didn't ride 'cause we couldn't afford to, it was a silent death to me every time I saw a biker out on the streets. Or watched a group ride go by. A terrible inner pain every time. I wouldn't wish that on your boy at all.

My wife rides horses and she's pretty good at it. Well, DAMN good at it. But it's effing dangerous. I got the call one day that she'd been thrown and was on her way to the hospital in an ambulance. I hustled my ass over to the E.R. and hooked up with her there. Fortunatly, it just gashed her elbow (sorry, no pics) right down to the bone. They stitched her right up and she's fine. But it could've been so much worse.

She was at the stables the next day, caring for horses including the one that threw her. Up and riding again the minute the stitches came out a week or so later.

It kills me to think that she could get hurt riding horses or bikes. Yup. She rides a Gixxer 1000. She's been down in a couple of bike wrecks too (two different bikes) but she loves to ride and she gets back up and rides more, just for the love of it.

I can't take that away from her. It gives me a greater pleasure to see her happy riding than I can describe. It completely overcomes the fear that she might get hurt or that I might lose her.

And if I lose her? I'll get up at her funeral and tell everyone that she lived life to the fullest right up to the last possible second. Never will I have to say that I kept her from living life or from squeezing every possible pleasure from it. I know she feels the same about me.

So we ride for the thrill of it and keep it responsibly safe (mostly!) and we live to ride. More importantly, we ride to live, even if we might someday die from it.

--Wag--

What's that saying? Something like, "Life shouldn't end in a well-preserved body. Better to skid into the finish line in a cloud of dust and smoke, blood and guts, totally used up and saying, 'What a rush!'"

Sorry for jumping in on the ladies forum but I thought I should chime in here. Basically, when I die, I think the best way for me to go out would be doing something I love doing. Riding bikes, shooting guns, racing cars, having sex (Ewwwww, I know), etc. You get the idea.

Face it. He's going to die some day anyhow, why not go out in style? To live life "safe" and peaceful is boring at best and emasculative at worst.

I remember the 12 year span of time when I didn't ride 'cause we couldn't afford to, it was a silent death to me every time I saw a biker out on the streets. Or watched a group ride go by. A terrible inner pain every time. I wouldn't wish that on your boy at all.

My wife rides horses and she's pretty good at it. Well, DAMN good at it. But it's effing dangerous. I got the call one day that she'd been thrown and was on her way to the hospital in an ambulance. I hustled my ass over to the E.R. and hooked up with her there. Fortunatly, it just gashed her elbow (sorry, no pics) right down to the bone. They stitched her right up and she's fine. But it could've been so much worse.

She was at the stables the next day, caring for horses including the one that threw her. Up and riding again the minute the stitches came out a week or so later.

It kills me to think that she could get hurt riding horses or bikes. Yup. She rides a Gixxer 1000. She's been down in a couple of bike wrecks too (two different bikes) but she loves to ride and she gets back up and rides more, just for the love of it.

I can't take that away from her. It gives me a greater pleasure to see her happy riding than I can describe. It completely overcomes the fear that she might get hurt or that I might lose her.

And if I lose her? I'll get up at her funeral and tell everyone that she lived life to the fullest right up to the last possible second. Never will I have to say that I kept her from living life or from squeezing every possible pleasure from it. I know she feels the same about me.

So we ride for the thrill of it and keep it responsibly safe (mostly!) and we live to ride. More importantly, we ride to live, even if we might someday die from it.

--Wag--

What's that saying? Something like, "Life shouldn't end in a well-preserved body. Better to skid into the finish line in a cloud of dust and smoke, blood and guts, totally used up and saying, 'What a rush!'"
Great words, Wag. :cheers

Great words, Wag. :cheers

Just the way I feel about it for myself and for me and others.

Life is too precious to use idly or in unloved pursuits.

--Wag--

it's not like I stop him for doing anything, He has and will always do what he wants. I offered to get him a season pass to a track in hopes that he would go there instead of riding on street. I will always be scared of him getting on the bike, I had a huge fear of him doing the on/off ramps (something told me he would get hurt) and look he did!
He's never known the feeling of loosing a best friend or even someone close. I have and I don't want it happen again anytime soon. Thats just the way I feel. There is a 90% GREATER chance that he will get hurt/killed on the road then if he was to ride on a track. It maybe his life and he can choose what to do with it But he has to remember that his choices don't just effect him!

It's a tough issue to balance. Somebody has to give.

For instance, in order for him to have the life he wants, YOU have to give up the sense of security that you desire. Selfish of him.

On the other hand, if you are to have the life he wants, HE has to give up something that makes his life worthwhile. Selfish of you.

There will likely be some compromise somewhere along the way. You may have to live, knowing that you may lose him some day. He may have to ride less or ride less aggressively or just ride tracks.

I think the two of you can work it out and stay together and love each other, regardless of the desires. In any case, I can only say this: If he decides not to ride, stay with him. I'm betting that one of the things that initially attracted you to him is that he rides and that he's that kind of guy. If you try to stop him from riding and you succeed, you will have removed that part of him from his life. I would be bold enough to say that would deal a serious blow to your relationship.

Believe me, I understand your concerns. I have the same concerns about my wife and her riding and her horses, just as I alluded to above. I compensate for it by enjoying every moment with her as much as possible. Those moments are entirely too precious and important to do anything but that.

Hopefully, you both can come to terms with this in some way that works for both of you.

--Wag--

my friend just crashed a few months ago and broke his hip & leg in 6 places. He's still recovering and in a wheelchair.
his wife (my best friend) who is ALSO a rider is terrified for HIM. She wants him to stop riding forever but she still wants to ride. She justifies it by saying, we dont ride like him.

Its understandable how you are feeling, its natural. Take your time and be patient with yourself.

doesn't matter if she "doesn't ride like him" most spills are attributed to either rider error (went into a corner too hot and grabbed the brakes) or cagers jsut fuckin up (i didn't see him) sometimes shit just happens...das y we as motorists must always ride defensively and wear our gear....beleive me, i don't particularly like wearin full leathers on a 90 degree day but at least if shti does happen, at least i know i was wearin all i could...i've gone down with and without leathers and trust me, makes a huge differnece

doesn't matter if she "doesn't ride like him" most spills are attributed to either rider error (went into a corner too hot and grabbed the brakes) or cagers jsut fuckin up (i didn't see him) sometimes shit just happens...das y we as motorists must always ride defensively and wear our gear....beleive me, i don't particularly like wearin full leathers on a 90 degree day but at least if shti does happen, at least i know i was wearin all i could...i've gone down with and without leathers and trust me, makes a huge differnece

Bravo:cheers :cheers

Um, what he said. :biggrin

In order to be 'safe' you have to live a very sedentary life. What about parachutists, rock climbers, scuba divers, etc, etc?

Motorcycles are simply one of those things that people do that is dangerous. Sometimes they die. Such is life.

I'll harp on it until I die too. I refuse to live a life of complacency and fear and I won't wish it on anyone else, especially someone I love. I want those people to have a great life too.

Better to go out in a blaze of glory than a whisper of fearfulness.

--Wag--

In order to be 'safe' you have to live a very sedentary life. What about parachutists, rock climbers, scuba divers, etc, etc?

Motorcycles are simply one of those things that people do that is dangerous. Sometimes they die. Such is life.

I'll harp on it until I die too. I refuse to live a life of complacency and fear and I won't wish it on anyone else, especially someone I love. I want those people to have a great life too.

Better to go out in a blaze of glory than a whisper of fearfulness.

--Wag--

:crying "That was beautiful man!" :crying LOL

As I said before, I will never stop him from riding. All I ask is that he lets me know when he is going and where. So that if i don't hear from him I can find him. I told him all I need is time. I've even asked to go on a ride with him but I want to go slow and I sure as FUCK don't want to do any on/off ramps. I love him more than anything.

Actually, telling someone where you're going and about when you'll be back is always a good idea. Even if you're travelling by other means, car, boat, plane, walking, hiking. When off roading, it's especially important.

Most people don't think about it, myself included but it's a really good idea.

--Wag--

Thank You!!!

My pleasure! I calls 'em the way I see's 'em.

--Wag--

Actually, telling someone where you're going and about when you'll be back is always a good idea. Even if you're travelling by other means, car, boat, plane, walking, hiking. When off roading, it's especially important.

Most people don't think about it, myself included but it's a really good idea.

--Wag--


I totally agree! I mean you never know what you might be stranded, without phone service (especially in my area cell phones suck here) and who knows... it might be a good idea if you don't turn up to have someone check it out... I am the same way, but then you have some girls that take it to extremes... just to nail you down... I am not like that... I just want to know the person I love is safe and sound...

Its pretty normal. I lost my husband ...he was killed on my bike, when a chic ran a stop sign..I rode after hating bikes for a little while..
I was always worried about that.

Then I had an accident! I shouldn't be alive right now it was so bad! But, I lived ...When the group of doctors stood around me saying we don't see this happen to often. It must of not been your time to go.

AHH...I thought ..right or wrong...When it's your time...It's your time....

We can't live everyday in fear...then were not living....avoiding bikes to make sure you are fine only to get in an accident in a car...

I do offer one more half a thought... but if you decide to avoid the ride... I can understand the perspective of if it's my time it's my time, but if it's not my time, but I outlive the accident... then as long as you come through it unmangled you accomplish it all. :scratch did that make any sense... I don't know that I really said what I intended.

I just want to know he is SAFE!!! The other point on this issue for me is that he has NO insurance (not on the bike, health or life) If he gets hurt we could loose our house.

I just want to know he is SAFE!!! The other point on this issue for me is that he has NO insurance (not on the bike, health or life) If he gets hurt we could loose our house.


ok that is a different story... does he just choose not to have insurance or is it not a financial option... that is so risky.

my insurance on the bike is cheaper cause my health insurance is offered through work. but I couldn't imagine going through life ALONE with out health insurance much less riding a bike, a horse, a four-wheeler.... i am sure you get my point. That is just scary...

You gotta have home!!! :hammer

Ya gotta have responsibility. If you're going to ride, have health insurance. All too often, people get the bike first when it should be the other way around.

I'm not an attorney but I suspect that you would not lose your house, necessarily unless it's for non-payment during a time when one of you is hospitalized and can't pay the mortgage. The hospital can't take it from you to pay your bill to them.

Have a day!

--Wag--

see...... I would have thought he would have seen how important it is to have insurance after my bike being totaled. Thank God I have insurance on everything. I'm probably over insured. We would have been Fucked if I didn't have insurance, The bike wasn't paid-off. He couldn't have gone to the doctor and we would have some large outstanding bills.

ok that is a different story... does he just choose not to have insurance or is it not a financial option... that is so risky.

my insurance on the bike is cheaper cause my health insurance is offered through work. but I couldn't imagine going through life ALONE with out health insurance much less riding a bike, a horse, a four-wheeler.... i am sure you get my point. That is just scary...

You gotta have home!!! :hammer

He chooses not to have it. I told him that I can insure it for him to save money but that was a no go. I insure his car so what's the big deal if I insure the bike. I have a clean driving record except for an accident. (my rates are low)

Whoa! Back the fuck up, girl. Insurance for me IS NOT a financial option. I told you that after the winter is over and I start riding again, I will get insurance on the bike in your name. It works great for the car. And its not like we financially are not safe. I've always believed in the fact that if you can't afford to crash a bike, then you shouldn't ride it.
Stop worrying about our finances. You know that's the one thing I'm definately not an idiot about.

Whoa! Back the fuck up, girl. Insurance for me IS NOT a financial option. I told you that after the winter is over and I start riding again, I will get insurance on the bike in your name. It works great for the car. And its not like we financially are not safe. I've always believed in the fact that if you can't afford to crash a bike, then you shouldn't ride it.
Stop worrying about our finances. You know that's the one thing I'm definately not an idiot about.


hummm.. when was the last time you had insurance on your bike???? I'm not saying you need to put it on NOW but you should have had it all along. duh

Whoa! Back the fuck up, girl. Insurance for me IS NOT a financial option. I told you that after the winter is over and I start riding again, I will get insurance on the bike in your name. It works great for the car. And its not like we financially are not safe. I've always believed in the fact that if you can't afford to crash a bike, then you shouldn't ride it.
Stop worrying about our finances. You know that's the one thing I'm definately not an idiot about.


Sorry. I didn't mean to offend. I just was looking at is as some people it's hard to afford. I know when I went to insure my bike... I had alot of quotes from places like progressive and geico... they wanted $3K/month... that was not an number I could play with. I ended up finding another company that would hold me. But dang. I have no accidents and I was like, I can't afford this. :crying But I worked it out. I guess I am straying from the original post, but when insurance come up I was just thinking financial. But I guess that is cause financial was a factor for me.

But I had to opt out of medical to even be able to afford insurance at all. Medical is covered under my work insurance.. but heck. Now here is one thing. alot of people have advised me that in the winter months that I may not be riding I can suspend my insurance and it would be covered if someone steals it, but not if I ride it on the weekend and crash. So that is what I plan to do, and that time is pretty much here for me...

Either way best of luck!

hummm.. when was the last time you had insurance on your bike???? I'm not saying you need to put it on NOW but you should have had it all along. duh

Whoa. Is he riding now or not? If not, what are you worried about?

I didn't mean to provoke a fight between the two of you. Maybe I should just bow out now. It seems that incomplete info is causing misconstrued commentary.

--Wag--

Wag,
This has been going on for well over a year. He could afford insurance but he didn't get any. He gives me the reason of well if I have to pay for insurance for 2 years it would be enough to get a new bike. Bull Shit. One crash and your Fucked. If I didn't have insurance on my Bike we would be FUCKED right now.

Wag,
This has been going on for well over a year. He could afford insurance but he didn't get any. He gives me the reason of well if I have to pay for insurance for 2 years it would be enough to get a new bike. Bull Shit. One crash and your Fucked. If I didn't have insurance on my Bike we would be FUCKED right now.
It's good to have when you need it, you know that all to well, it sounds...
It's only good if you wreck, the rest of the time it does seem like wasted money, but if you ever need it, you'll be glad. Wish none of us ever needed it.:crying
i could save all kinds of $$$ then.

I do offer one more half a thought... but if you decide to avoid the ride... I can understand the perspective of if it's my time it's my time, but if it's not my time, but I outlive the accident... then as long as you come through it unmangled you accomplish it all. :scratch did that make any sense... I don't know that I really said what I intended.

Hmmmm......wanna try again sweetie...? sorry...it's late...just not getting it....HAHA...In more areas than that.....lol....sorry, the thoughts were hurting to much ....

Hmmmm......wanna try again sweetie...? sorry...it's late...just not getting it....HAHA...In more areas than that.....lol....sorry, the thoughts were hurting to much ....
awh it's ok... it was just writers block...